Anhedonia emptiness

If these open windows close

Whenever I approach

Then how I am to feel

The evening summer breeze.

I tried to go away

Through doors and rooms and hallways

But these corridors were endless

And outside kept getting further

So I ran towards the window.

And just before it shut I took a deep breath

I tried to feel that air

To make the feeling my own

To fuse it with my soul

So that I would carry it with me always

To remember it forever

Just the way it was.

But little did I know

One day my dreams grew silent

My craving stopped

And the sweet perfume of nature

No longer gave me satisfaction.

The well had run dry.

So I repressed my feelings

Locked my heart and soul.

So I would remain indifferent.

When the numbness struck me

Because of how much I cherished you,
O summer, O sun ...

I tried to cherish you even more,
to feel you as I did.

Before it all got vague and tarnished

For when you’re true, you are pure

But when I realized I was not pure.

I gave up trying to be true

I should have seen

That it was not the feeling 

of the breeze I longed for

But the breeze itself.

Anhedonie/anhedonia is het verlies of de vermindering

van het vermogen tot plezierbeleving.